Daring to Hope

Well, the WRAG interview on Friday was, indeed, nothing to worry about.

The lovely woman I saw was interested only in how she could help me, and was happy to give me all the time I need to get my head together before I start considering how to get back in to work.

For a start, she understood why I'm in a much worse place than I would've been if I hadn't been fucked about by ATOS, and therefore she knew that I need a lot of time to get back to where I might've been if all that crap hadn't happened.

I can contact her when I feel the need to. She will occasionally e-mail me to ask if things are okay (she won't phone because I told her I don't like talking on the phone). She won't push me or hassle me.

I do feel a lot better about it all, now. Mind you, when I got home from the appointment I found a brown envelope in the post. A letter telling me that my medical certificate is about to expire and I need to send a new one.

Sigh.

I'm not supposed to be sending those any more. Gah! So I had to make another sodding phone call. Oops, sorry, someone hasn't updated the details, don't worry blah blah.

FFS. If I were able to get a job, I'd bloody well do it properly. A few years ago I met someone at a Training Centre who had claimed JSA and then received a letter in the post saying that his claim couldn't be processed because they didn't have his address. Did I mention that he received this letter in the post?

No wonder we're all fucking depressed.

My ATOS Journal

I started this in a Word doc on the 9^th of February, so the first few entries are retrospective, as are some of the later ones, because after a while I just didn’t feel up to it any more. I’ve edited a little, eg to remove other people’s names and to clarify details where necessary, but otherwise this is an accurate, if sketchy, record of how I was affected by ATOS. I think I got off lightly.

Entries in italics relate to other stuff going on in my life at the same time, which contributed to the stress.

January 10

Recycling bins, for paper/cardboard and glass/cans/plastic bottles, finally delivered to our four flats, after months of asking for them.

January 12

Attended an ATOS medical assessment, accompanied by my boyfriend. Was asked questions I found it difficult to answer, was not asked questions about some relevant problems, eg coping with change (my problems are mental, not physical). Needed help from my boyfriend when answering some questions. Was examined for upper limb problems I’ve never claimed to have. Was not asked to produce my medication, even though I brought it with me as instructed. Was told that the decision regarding my claim would be sent in the post, and was reassured that it would not come in the form of a phone call.

January 16

MRI at hospital re tumour on neck.

January 19

Received a phone call from the DWP informing me that I had been found fit for work. So much for not getting the news by phone. One problem, apparently, was that I wasn’t seeking help in the form of counselling, and it was suggested that if I can get to the medical assessment, I should be able to get to a counselling appointment. I cried a lot.

Began to harbour thoughts of self-destruction, such as taking a hammer in to the medical centre and smashing computers until I’m apprehended, or chaining myself to a radiator in the Job Centre and lighting a cigarette just to make sure they notice me.

These thoughts, plus those of suicide or running away to the middle of nowhere so that I could lie down in the mud and die in peace, became a regular feature of my waking hours for a significant period of time.

I was now forced into the situation of having to make a hell of a lot of phone calls, which I had already stated would cause me anxiety.

Recycling bins not emptied.

January 20

Spoke to my former counsellor to ask for a letter stating my reasons for discontinuing counselling sessions last year. She needed to speak to her supervisor who had just gone on holiday, but said she would get back to me.

Phoned Council about recycling bins – was told there’d been a communication problem.

January 23

Phoned DWP to request a copy of the medical assessment.

Made an appointment to see my GP

January 24

Tried to contact CAB by phone, but only got a recorded message which didn’t allow me to leave a message.

Contacted Welfare Rights, who said they’d phone me back.

January 25

Saw GP, who gave me a sick note for 4 weeks, and agreed to write a letter in support of my appeal.

Was contacted by Welfare Rights, who gave advice and said they’d send me information in the post.

January 28

Received information from Welfare Rights, including completed appeal form that I just had to sign.

January 30

Received letter informing me that Housing Benefit had been suspended.

February 1

Sent appeal form with GP’s letter and sick note.

February 2

Took Housing Benefit ‘change of income’ form in to local Housing Benefit Office.

Recycling bins still not emptied. Now full.

February 3

Phoned about recycling bins. Was told my complaint would be ‘escalated’ and someone would phone me about it.

February 4

Received letter from Council Housing Department, who count as my landlord, stating I owe the whole of January’s rent, even though my Income Support doesn’t end until February 8^th.

February 6

Phoned HB office, was passed on to Housing Department. Was told to speak to HB office. Phoned them again, and this time spoke to a reasonable person who assured me that this problem would be resolved.

Received copy of medical assessment, which was incoherent at best, and contained untrue statements. Eg - it claimed that I didn’t take my medication with me, and that I had claimed to have upper limb problems. It also claimed that I’d said my nearest shop is 200 metres away from my home. I’m 54, I don’t think in metres, and I don’t even know how far it is in yards.

Phoned again about recycling bins, and was told someone would phone me by the end of tomorrow.

February 8

Spoke again to my former counsellor, whose supervisor is still on holiday. She believes she should be able to get authorisation to send the letter I requested.

Phoned a local Counselling Service (a charity) to ask if I could be put on their waiting list. Had to leave a message, and included my phone number.

Phoned again about recycling bins, and said I wouldn’t be phoning again.

February 11

Received letter regarding HB. I would receive full HB and CT benefit for the dates 13/2/12 to 26/3/12. But benefits changed on the 8^th.

February 13

Phoned HB. Was reassured that the rent/CT for the dates 9/2/12 – 12/2/12 (inclusive) would be covered.

E-mailed relevant department about recycling bins.

February 14

Received letter from Council stating that I now owe 6 weeks’ rent. Phoned them, only to be told that the whole team was on an ‘awayday’ for training.

Received e-mail about recycling bins.

February 15

Got second sick note from GP.

Rang DWP to check where I need to send the sick note, and then spoke to ESA to ask how long it would be before I had something in writing from them. Was told that my appeal had only been looked at yesterday, but I should receive a letter about it soon.

Learned that Mum has received a CWP (Cold Weather Payment), to which I’m usually entitled. Checked online and found that two such payments should be paid to people in my postcode area. Phoned ESA to ask if I’m still eligible. Was put through to someone in IB (Incapacity Benefit), who told me that I’m not entitled because the IB I was receiving was ‘contributions-based’ (which it wasn’t, as far as I was aware) and that the IS (Income Support), which is what qualified me for the payment, was ‘just a top-up’. When I said I’d received these payments in the last two years, while receiving those benefits, he said, “Well you shouldn’t have”. Told him to bugger off and put the phone down.

Phoned again a few minutes later, knowing I would probably speak to a different person, and did. This person told me that I had been given the wrong information, and apologised. Also asked for the guy’s name. Assured me that I’m definitely eligible for Cold Weather Payments, and arranged for someone at IS and ESA to phone me about it. IS called almost as soon as I’d put the phone down, and reassured me that the payments were on their way.

Received default notice from Halifax regarding Credit Card debt. Confirmed on the phone that I can continue paying £1 per month indefinitely.

Still no response from the counselling service.

February 16

ESA phoned at 9am. Told me I was only entitled to the first of the two CWPs – the second related to a period during which I was no longer receiving IB/IS. She said she’d contact IS to make sure I received the first payment.

A few minutes later, IS phoned and said I was entitled to both payments, because I was receiving IB/IS for part of the week that the second one related to.

Sent sick note.

Received letter confirming that I will be paid £67.50 per week, in fortnightly payments, dating from 9^th February. Checked with HB department – they have also received notification.

Recycling bins finally emptied – also visited by the man in charge, who apologised for the delay and reassured me there should be no more problems.

Cancelled hospital appointment re tumour. New appointment on 22^nd March.

February 17

Received letter reminding me to send another sick note, and enclosing a pre-paid envelope. Oh well, I’ll use it for the next one.

February 20

Received letter confirming that HB will be covered from Feb 9^th. Still only goes up to March 26^th, though.

February 21

No money paid into my account. Hoping it’ll be there tomorrow. (Payments are usually made on Tuesdays, but the official date is the Wednesday.)

Spoke to former counsellor, who is now sending a support letter.

February 22

Money went into account. So it looks as though I’m now going to be paid on Wednesdays instead of Tuesdays.

Received two separate letters telling me I would be paid CWP – each letter relating to a separate payment. Because they have so much money that they’re quite happy to double the amount of postage they use. No surprise there, then.

February 24

Got letter from former counsellor. Attempted to phone ESA about whether it’s still okay to send it, but just got a lot of “Please hold” messages. Meh. I’ll send it anyway, possibly by recorded delivery.

February 27

Sent counsellor’s letter, with covering letter, by recorded delivery so that they have to sign for it and can’t pretend they never received it.

March 3

Called counselling service again. They said there’s an 8-week waiting list, which is pretty good these days.

March 7

Received another copy of the medical report, with no letter explaining why. Had to phone to find out. Apparently they’re sent out routinely to people who appeal, and someone hadn’t noticed I already had a copy.

Your tax dollars at work.

March 12 – 16

Around midweek I received the new Council Tax bill, saying that I need to pay them 10p (for the whole year). It was based on an income of £71.01 per week. I assumed this was the new amount I’ll be receiving because of the annual benefit increase, but haven’t yet had a letter from DWP confirming it.

A day or so later I received two letters form the Council, both on the same day. The letters were identical. So two lots of postage were spent on informing me that from the beginning of April my rent would be 1p per week.

March 17 - 18

Posted about the rent and CT on my favourite talkboard, and got a reply from someone who works in HB. She said it was absolutely wrong, and I should contact them about it.

March 19

Phoned HB about the rent etc, and was told it was clearly an error, and it would be sorted out. I’ll receive revised bills/statements in the post.

March 20

Rang Tribunal Service to ask how long it will be before I get the documents through. Turns out I’m not on their system yet.

Phoned ESA to ask about it. My appeal hasn’t been written out yet, so hasn’t been sent to Tribunals. Could be ages. Meh.

March ?

New CT statement, now stating I owe zero.

April 2

Received letter from Wescot, a Debt Collection company, regarding my Halifax Credit card debt. Phoned Halifax about it, and was given a number for Blair, Oliver and Scott. Googled both, don’t like the sound of them. Was advised to continue paying £1 per month to Halifax, even though they’ve sold the debt – apparently it’ll still come off my balance. Not convinced. Need advice. Cancelled the £1 Standing Order to Halifax.

April 12 ?

Phoned DWP to ask for a letter confirming my benefit at the new rate.

April 18

Phoned CCCS (Consumer Credit Counselling Service) about the debt letters. Advised to offer £1 and get the necessary bank details.

April 23

Phoned Wescot and agreed to set up a Standing Order for £1 per month.

Phoned DWP about the letter confirming my benefit, which I hadn’t yet received. Apparently it was sent on the 12^th. Another one is now on its way.

Still nothing from Council confirming full HB.

 

May 30

Long time since I last reported.

June 14

Even longer, now.

As you can see, it tailed off considerably towards the end. I withdrew from almost all contact with the rest of the world, disappeared from the talkboard and Facebook (apart from the very occasional post here and there), stopped checking my e-mails, and mostly just didn’t want to switch the computer on, much less sit here writing about it all.

The good news –

The tumour turned out to be benign, but they still want to remove it just in case, and I’m waiting for the hospital appointment.

I started seeing a counsellor in June.

The recycling bins are still being emptied regularly.

So far there’s been no problem with the debt repayment.

Leaving the best till last – I won my appeal, without having to go to tribunal. On the advice of Welfare Rights, I phoned ESA in late June, to ask about the progress of my appeal. It still hadn’t been dealt with, and I burst into tears. I was put through to someone else, and ended up speaking to a Decision Maker, who could tell how distressed I was. He promised to look at my case first thing the next morning (it was late afternoon at the time) and he was true to his word. He phoned me at exactly 9am the next day, and said he would change the decision and I would be put onto WRAG (Work-Related Activity Group).

It didn’t quite end there. When I phoned again the following week because I hadn’t yet had anything in writing, I spoke to someone who had no idea why the decision would be changed, and could find no record of it. More phone calls. Eventually I was able to speak to someone who did know what was going on, and the whole bastard problem went away. I was back-paid what I was owed and felt able to breathe again.

The bad news –

Tomorrow I have an appointment at the Job Centre, which is one of the conditions of WRAG. I’ve been told by someone I know who works there that I shouldn’t worry about it, but that’s easier said than done.

Abusive and Traumatic Ordeals for the Sick

Last night I watched the London Paralympics opening ceremony, and I felt cheated. I should’ve been able to feel good about these games, impressed by the positive images portrayed, uplifted by this amazing demonstration of what the human race is capable of, despite all obstacles.

Instead, all I saw was irony. These games are sponsored by ATOS, the French company that’s been paid a fortune by the British government to kick disabled people off benefits. The company responsible for finding terminally ill people ‘fit for work’. I can only hope that the Paralympians are in full-time work, or have private means – anything but so-called benefits. Because if you’re capable of competing in a sports tournament, you must be able to work.

There has been much talk about the effect these games might have on public perception of disabled people. For some reason I’m unable to fathom, some people seem to think that they will have a positive impact on people’s attitudes towards disability. I’m not sure how that’s going to happen. The abuse of disabled people tends to be based on the idea that they are scroungers, lead-swingers. In what way will the victims of such abuse be helped by the image of other disabled people achieving amazing feats that most able-bodied people can’t manage?

There’s also been talk – on the internet, at least – of protests by disabled people against the ATOS involvement in these games. Anyone seen any mention of this on any news programme? No, thought not.

I am certainly not against the games; I have nothing but respect and admiration for the athletes taking part, but the ATOS sponsorship leaves a bitter taste that isn’t going to go away in a hurry.